Pride leads to disgrace but with humility comes wisdom.
Proverbs 11:2 (NLT)
Confession: Over my lifetime, I have allowed pride and ego to have its way on so many occasions; embarrassingly too many to count. My relationships with family and friends, successes in academics and athletics all suffered but none as pronounced as in my professional career.
As I have mentioned in earlier posts, career and professional achievements have meant a great deal to me. It is the one area in my life that secured my esteem and helped to define how I articulated my worth to my superiors and colleagues. While I have talked my way to better career moves and raises, I soon discovered this ideology is misdirected and foolish. The relentless pursuit of success feeds our self-image or ego. This three-letter word is the most dangerous aspect of our lives that can potentially guarantee doom upon everything and everyone you hold dear if it gets exploited or exaggerated.
You see, there is a distinct difference being proud and being prideful. The fine line between the two characteristics is slim, but it is there. And I crossed it too many times! One such example included successfully completing a project well before a deadline and under budget. Yes, it was something to be proud of, however, I let it get in the way of reason. In addition to my own confidence, the accolades from my supervisor fed my “proud” and evolved to cocky pride. My ego was inflated, and I became overly confident in my abilities to produce in future projects. I became my own cheerleader, coach, and quarterback. Subsequently, I turned away assistance from my peers, waited until the last minute to submit information, etc. In affect, I was sabotaging my credibility (I worked so hard to build) as a reliable and industrious team player. Yes…you guessed it. Pride did come before the fall, and I fell hard.
Pride is our enemy and yet humility is the position of our heart that God desires for us. There is something to be said about living a life with humility. It does not mean that you cannot achieve and do great things, but it does mean that you can achieve knowing that it is not all about you. It means you are not better THAN if you do this or that. The heart of the matter is the matter of the heart. Where is your heart? To whom or for what are you achieving? What is the purpose that compels you and me to pursue achievements so vehemently? Is it to serve others? Is it to promote your own self-interests? Personally, I believe these experiences and wake-up calls have fueled my passion to encourage and advise others on how to do better so they can do better. Hence, this blog.
Pride is defined as a feeling of deep pleasure or satisfaction derived from one’s own achievements, the achievements of those with whom one is closely associated, or from qualities or possessions that are widely admired. The key word is deep. Not only are we pleased or satisfied, but we are also deep in that pleasure and satisfaction. We are exclusively conscious of our own dignity.
Humility is the quality or state of not thinking we are better than other people or the quality or state of being humble i.e., He accepted the honor with humility.
These two words are contradictory to each other. But in our humanity, we struggle with these. Speaking for myself, I once believed humility to be self-deprecating. By that I mean downplaying my abilities, “dumbing myself down”, and making room for someone or some opportunity to pass me by. But humility doesn’t speak to that. Humility disallows haughtiness and arrogance to take precedence or have a foothold in your spirit and heart. We are no more like God than when we demonstrate humility and surrender to His will for your life in service and sacrifice to others.
“You gonna pride and ego your butt right out of a job…”
NS
This past week I experienced several humbling moments. The first had to do with last week’s post related to criticism for which I had to apologize and reconcile. I received a text message from a friend who recalled a moment when I was less than kind in my criticisms. Immediately, I wanted to know what I had said and defend myself from their claims. Before I could fix my fingers to return a message, I heard a calm loving voice in my heart tell me that it didn’t matter what I said. What mattered most was that criticism hurt this person’s feelings. The boldness it took to confront me on this deserved a humble response. Instead of attack, I apologized and asked for forgiveness. It was a hard test considering my direct and matter of fact character. But I cannot live my life believing I am the only one who is this way and that I am bigger or better than anyone because of it. I learned this week, humility requires bravery. Humility, if handled honorably, will further amplify the good I do. Not for me but to God’s glory.
Second, was a work-related matter which required a serious intervention from a dear friend in who’s counsel I respect and admire. I also have written about this in an earlier posting – You Can Take THIS Job and Shove It. Following seven years of service in one department at my present place of employment, I was ready to pack up my box and pursue another career path. However, a well-admired and respected colleague carved out an opportunity in their department. It would mean a transfer and I could remain in the organization. At first, I believed this opportunity would mean a promotion and increase in compensation. And why not? I am confident in my abilities and have performed at my present job with excellence. I communicated as much to the powers that be. Therefore, in my mind, I convinced myself that I was entitled to the promotion and it was only a matter of time before it would happen. Instead, the transfer to the new department required beginning at the bottom as an Analyst. Instantly, I allowed the twins – pride and ego to speak to HR and my new boss. My pride and ego, while very composed, was opposed to starting at the bottom. I was deserving of better and articulated as much. While they agreed with my assessments, the truth is that any transfer to any department requires training and education. Rather than looking at the analyst position as an investment in my future, pride and ego clouded sound judgement.
So much so that following this conversation over a cocktail with my girlfriend, she indulged me while I stood on my soapbox. Finally, she calmly countered, “You gonna pride and ego your butt right out of a job and you can’t live with me!” My girl was right. Her candor awakened me into reality; to accept this new position with a spirit of humility. Admittedly, my prideful response was a slap in the face to those persons who wanted to see me succeed and gave me a place to thrive at the same place of employment. Immediately, I recalled all the people who made this transfer possible and endorsed the move in the first place. The pros outweighed the cons. I was embarrassed and ashamed. The same God who blesses us with career, home, car, finances, husbands, wives, children, etc. is the same God who can take it all away, if we are not careful in the ways we demonstrate gratitude. This gratefulness comes from a place of humility.
It’s not going to be easy to completely overcome the matters related to our pride and inflated ego but that is no excuse to not try. We can do great things because we serve a God who equips us to do great things. But we cannot achieve them at the expense of how we treat others or ignore the blessings that it took to get us to where we are. I will end with this one quote I came across:
If your pride
is bigger than
your heart and
your ego is bigger
than your head
Grow up or you
will be alone for life.
Unknown
…now what, Linda
now what, Linda? 