Make allowances for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.
Colossians 3:13 (New Living Translation)
One of the most profound examples of forgiveness in the Bible is the story Jesus told about a king who wanted to settle his debts. One man owed the king a lot of money and couldn’t repay it. Imagining the worst that could happen to himself and possibly his family, he fell facedown begging for mercy. The king felt pity for him and ultimately forgave the debt. The king extended mercy to this man’s fate.
You would think that following this very tangible example of mercy, the man would have been overwhelmed with gratitude. I thought so! Think about it. This man pleaded and beseeched the king to absolve the responsibility of the debt as well as prevent harm to his family. So really the man was begging for forgiveness of the bill, jail time or death, and protection for his family. Sounds like an awful lot to excuse when one has so little to leverage.
The story does not end there. The next verse says he did not extend this same mercy to another man who owed him a fraction of what the first man owed the king. The man made such a stink about this offense, he had the other man arrested and imprisoned until he could pay back the debt.
Something happened in between the lines of this story. Something changed in this man’s heart from the time he was facedown before the king begging for mercy from his debt and the time the man got up and came across the man who owed him a smaller amount. What could it have been? What this man lacked was empathy. Within an instant he forgot his backstory. He did not remember what it felt like to be without. Further, he quicky ignored the act of compassion the king extended to him and rejected an opportunity to extend this act of care and understanding to another. He is what we refer to in the hood as one with “igonesia” – a horrific combination of ignorance and amnesia.
If we’re all honest, we probably see ourselves in this story.
Us
By this point of this story, I hung my head down in shame. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve “held on” to what others owed me, while moments earlier I received such favor for blessings I did not deserve. In my quickness to achieve, I didn’t take the time to observe the details or consider why others were “moving too slowly”. If we’re all honest, we probably see ourselves in this story. Think about it…Perhaps after having enjoyed a sumptuous meal with the boss (did I mention free) and a significant doggie bag, we walk past a hungry homeless person. Perhaps after avoiding a major car pileup on the highway to get to the office on time, we mercilessly cut off a family in the intersection. Perhaps we owed a substantial bill, and the vendor gave us a pass because of our prior payment history but later we come across family or friend who owes us $10 bucks for the last lunch we spotted because they were short that week.
It does not take much time before we swing into our critical nature. How often have we not considered another’s circumstances when they’ve hurt us, yet we happily receive the mercy that God offers us? We’ve all done it! We have all sinned. Profusely. And every single transgression falls short of God’s perfect standard of forgiveness. Partly, because we often view our sins differently. We have the audacity to make allowances for ourselves and our missteps. We may consider our sins to be small compared to others’ but all sin is in opposition to God’s ways. I have come to learn the only difference between sins are their consequences – some may be small, while there are outcomes which are life-changing.
We may never know the full “backstory” of someone’s life. We may never know the what’s and why’s families live out of their cars or the reason why the mom or dad is walking ever so slowly through that intersection or why your buddy was short that week and couldn’t come up with his/her portion for lunch. We do not have the details or the understanding of the experiences which have hindered their lives. But a very important part of making allowances for another is choosing a perspective that is not your own. Showing empathy and compassion forces us to take stock of what we have been blessed with and not forgetting. Instead, forget what others owe you. Forget the debt. Forget the offensive behavior. Forget the past. Forget what you didn’t get out of the deal. Forget what they have, and you don’t have. Remember, you have more. You have Jesus Christ who is more than sufficient to fill those gaps in your life. Jesus is the Master in making allowances. He is well aware of your circumstances and still is in the blessings game.
For many of us, including me – we strategically develop a case of amnesia when it suits our case. We forget to carry over AND share the goodness of God’s mercy unto others. Is there someone you’re withholding empathy or allowance from? Are you forgetting you were once the title holder of a hefty debt that you begged to have pardoned?
God has got your back! What is for you is for you and no one else. Ask God to infuse your heart with humility and empathy and the ability to see people the way God sees them and you. Ask God to show you how to love people the way He loves us. That’s the good news. God loved you though we did not deserve it AND He still does.
… now what, Linda.
now what, Linda? 