But you, Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness.
Psalm 86:15
Compassion alludes to kindness and sympathy, but there is something deeper, something even more profoundly powerful, in its meaning.
The origin of the word helps us grasp the true breadth and significance of compassion. In Latin, ‘compati’ means “suffer with.” Compassion means someone else’s heartbreak becomes your heartbreak. Another’s suffering becomes your suffering. True compassion changes the way we live.
There may have been moments in your life when things haven’t always been thrilling, thriving, and trending along without issues. But then something happens where it shakes your core. Life has thrown you for a loop and you are no longer at peace. A life change will alter your daily flow. If you recall correctly, these occurrences are not planned. They crash upon your life as a surprise. Being the self-sufficient person you are, you will try your best to adjust, adapt, and accommodate as quickly as possible. One way we try to handle the challenges in life, is by including your family and possibly vent to friends. But that may have been the biggest mistake you made.
The one thing you hope to hold on to is the kindness and compassion of your friends and family. During the toughest of times in your life, the worst thing you can experience is the “you should do this” and “you ought to do that” commentaris from your loved ones.
Chances are, you are probably frazzled with altering your life in the midst of the surprise occurrences. And your family and friends are throwing more criticism and commentary in your direction versus support and encouragement. In my case, sharing with friends my distresses and anger about what was going on only backfired and their opinions and “well-intentioned words” left me further damaged and uneasy.
I am reminded of the story of Job. In the Scriptures, Job was a wealthy and prominent man of the community. Based on the context of the story, it can be perceived Job was admired and recognized as someone “who had it all together”. So, imagine his surprise and that of his wife, family, and friends, when suddenly his life takes an unexpected turn? As a matter of fact, it did! Throughout the Book of Job, we read how Job endured the loss of his children, house staff and servants, and cattle. His wealth, reputation, livelihood were gone. Job experienced profound distress and destruction of his well-being. Though God trusted Job to be an honorable man, the people closest to him were unyielding in their attitudes and opinions of what was going on in their friend’s life. Job endured the weight of his wife’s scrutiny and complaining. His friends were no better. They approached him with a smile and before long each of them had “something to say ” about why Job was going through the obstacles in his life. By the end of the story, Job continued to honor God, despite the horrible changes that occurred in his life. Further God blessed Job and replaced all that he lost and more. I believe this restoration was a reward to Job for his faithfulness and because Job did not allow his wife and friends to discourage, deceive or divide him from the love of God.
Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.
Galatians 6;2
In my lifetime, I have heard many “friends” quick to share their thoughts about what I was going through versus lending encouragement and aid. I recently experienced a very unfortunate situation in which by the end of the encounter, I was left even more rattled, insecure, and completely invalidated of my feelings on the matter. Isn’t it mind-boggling how people in and out of your circle are able to editorialize on matters that do not involve them? In this case, my profound trouble had more to do with my struggle with finding the balance between what I know God to be, how these changes were impacting my feelings and everyday life, and frankly the shame of not trusting my God more.
In many instances, for Believers in Christ, who go through the deep trials of life, we are aware of the goodness of God. We are aware of God’s faithfulness and goodness. We are aware God as Sovereign, Healer, Provider, Protector, Shelter, Fortress, Advocate and so so much more. In many cases, the Believer who is challenged with the “downs of life” is being jarred out of their flow. In the very throws of these moments, we are shaken and on edge. Even the most mature of Believers struggle with their feelings and the emotionality of the situation. Yes, there is still fear, anger, anxiety, uneasiness, to name a few. We are human and humans feel! C c
“We must learn to regard people less in the light of what they do or omit to do, and more in the light of what they suffer.”
Dietrich Bonhoeffer
In the same story of Job, one thing I have learned lately since my unfortunate incident, is how God trusted Job to handle the “ebbs of his life’. God believed Job to be consistent in his behavior and faith in God. Therefore, Job received the protection he needed. In the meantime, in your times of distress and troubles, surround yourself with those men, women, and children who demonstrate the true definition of compassion.
Conversely, when dealing with others who are faced with challenges in their life, be sure to consider compassion involves a tangible expression of love for those who are suffering. Compassion is not just an awareness of another person’s suffering. It moves beyond a simple desire to reduce suffering. A compassionate person recognizes the suffering of others and then takes action to help.
Listening is a great place to start. Hold their hand. Express how sorry you feel they are going through the challenges. Extend a hug. Share a funny story as a distraction. Take him or her out to lunch. Pray. Think before you speak. Provide resources where you can. These gestures model Christ-like compassion.
…now what. Linda?
now what, Linda? 