What Have You Done for YOU Lately?

Just the other day, I got an email from the Human Resources department of my employer informing me that I had capped out on vacation hours. This meant that as of the last payroll date, I was unable to accrue any additional hours toward my vacation bank. I had to admit I chuckled to myself because if and when I did not have a travel-related vacation planned, my time off would be to my home. Well, I am working from home now. I want to take some time off. Where can I go? Sadly the current heart-wrenching circumstances have forced me to make my home my office and vacation destination. Ironically in this forced isolation, my home has been the headquarters from where I have learned to appreciate and spend time caring and loving on me.

Like me, 2020 must be etched in our minds as the year when you have had choices to be creative, innovative and daring about your self-care and self-love. If this was and is not your thing, then this post is not for you. Self-care is defined as the practice of taking an active role in protecting one’s own well-being and happiness, in particular during periods of stress.

Self-care is caring for ourselves, ya’ll. It is really anything that we deliberately do (or refrain from doing) with our own well-being in mind. It means giving ourselves the same grace, compassion, and care that we give to others.

Mental health match

Beginning in February 2020, I wanted to remain in touch with all the current updates related to the COVID-19 outbreak. CNN and FOX News held equal billing of my attention. By the time the outbreak graduated to a global pandemic, I was rolling out of bed, working 12⁺ hour days, eating or not, showering or not and rolling back to bed. The days were blurring and I was enjoying Tito’s on a daily basis rather than as a treat at the end of the work week. It was during these months, I was in regular contact with my family on the east coast. I was running on autopilot and I ignored what my body, mind and heart were telling me. I was abusing the grace of the new day by mishandling my physical, mental and emotional health. What’s worse – I set no boundaries. How much did I love, much less care about my constitution if I did not monitor the who, what, where, why, and how stuff in my life?

While there was a lot going on in my life during the first five months of the COVID-19 season, it was clear I was not focused. I had taken such little care of the core pillars of my life that when I needed to be sharp, I was not. I was not sharp for myself and I was completely useless to my family. I was slow and sluggish, my mind was fuzzy and I could not recollect names and dates and I was feeling overwhelmed. I was taking notes and making lists more frequently so as to not miss details. I consider myself to be balanced and collected and I was far, very far from that.

It was after the passing of my sister and returning to my home to wrap my arms around the grieving process, I realized how uncentered I was. The first thing I had to do was STOP. STOP busying myself with unnecessary stuff. STOP using alcohol, food, and work from taking the place of facing and dealing with my emotions and anxieties. STOP making excuses. STOP. The moment I stopped moving, thinking, worrying, I just melted unto the floor and wept. That moment of surrender and giving way to the crap that life had thrown at me reduced me to tears. Those tears were cleansing and released me from having to be “ON”. Those tears reminded me that I was not alone in facing my hurts, worries and fears. Those tears helped me to lean on the One who can take all my emotions and bring me peace of mind (Stay tuned for that post).

Those 15 minutes saved my life. It takes 15 minutes to get a coffee the way I like it at Starbucks. Ask yourself, if you can give 15 minutes to Corner Bean, Starbucks, Jamba Juice or whatever, why would you not give 15 minutes to yourself? It took a global pandemic for me to take time out for me. I had to learn being present with my family and friends in creative ways. I am getting up each morning to pray and read the Bible. I am moving my body with exercise. I am feeling my heart beating and taking in those long cleansing breaths. My body is aching those good aches I did not feel before. I urge you to expand your mind in new and innovative ways. Try new things or completing that TO DO list you ignored because you did not have the time at home to do it. You are home and you have the time! Cook new foods, complete a DIY project, reset the furniture in a room, read the books you did not have time to finish or take a class and finish that degree. In the 21 days that it takes to create a new habit, I tapped into my faith and remain in consistent committed relationship with God. Explore and identify creative outlets that you enjoy and which may possibly yield another stream of income for you. The next time you come across a great song, stop what you are doing and dance. Why not start right now? Get a hold of that track by Janet Jackson (you know the one), stand in front of the mirror and sing out loud (and off key) – What Have You Done for YOU Lately? It will change your life.

…now what, Linda?

Things to Consider:

1. Get Physical. Take a walk around the block. Jump rope. Stretch in your living room or outdoors in your backyard, if you have one.
   • Confession: I resuscitated an old passion for tennis I once played in high school. Some 25⁺ years later, I am running, jumping and swinging. I am no Serena Williams but I am moving and it feels so darn good!
2. Avoid Getting Insane in the Membrane. Develop a practice of blocking toxic images, news, words, people, etc. from taking up space in your brain. Be mindful that because you are not distracted by going out and dining with friends that you are isolated at home. You may feel restricted but you do have control of what you pay attention. Your mind is precious; protect it.
   • Confession: When I need to silence my mind, I shut off the TV, radio, phone, computer – silence everything. Sit on my couch. Close my eyes. Picture in my mind a morning horizon. I hear in my mind rain hitting the window pane. I take this time to concentrate on the horizon and the rain and focus on only those things that are good and perfect. I find rest in the images of a sunrise or sunset, the smells of roses or fresh cut grass, the sensation of waves on the beach. Do not rush this time. This work wonders in restoring my mind to focus on things that are more important and require my attention.
3. Emotional Care matters. This lockdown has many Americans feeling conflicted and vulnerable about what they see or hear on the news or on social media. Folks are scared and unclear about what their futures look like for themselves and their families. There are money matters and health matters and all kinds of other matters that harvest a bunch of emotions. First, those feelings matter and are important. Second, give yourself permission to feel those feelings. Last, allow time to feel it out – do not rush through an emotion.
   1. Confession: I have been deep in my feelings. I promise you, I have felt and continue to feel every emotion from A to Z. When I sense that knot in my throat, meaning I am about to cry, I stop what I am doing and let those tears flow. When I am watching a TV show or movie and hear a funny line, I do not chuckle – I laugh out loud. When I am angry, sad or worried, I talk out load about those emotions and what is connected to making me feel this way. Allowing myself to hear my words associated with these feelings validates that what I am feeling matters and is important.
4. Find foundation in your Faith. I dare not proselytize and beat your head with the Bible. But as for me in my home, I seek rest in my faith in Jesus Christ and His Word. It is imperative to find the foundation upon which you find rest, peace and security. It is difficult for many to identify and establish a confidence in a faith because we associate faith with religion. Faith is not an organized religion. Faith is not a one-man show. Faith is a relationship. Faith is the belief in the encouraging and inspiriting words that remind me of God who is in charge. If you do not have a relationship with Christ, you will have a hard time establishing your faith.
   • Confession: When the going gets tough and I feel (fill in the blank), I stop to meditate on these words. Memorize these words of encouragement. You will be amazed at how God will work miracles.

The Lord is near to the broken hearted and saves the crushed in spirit.

Psalm 34:18

Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with My victorious right hand.

Isaiah 41:10

Give all your worries and cares to God, for He cares about you.

1 Peter 5:7